Secondary Infertility Counselling in Toronto

What happens when you are struggling to conceive a second time around?

You thought having another child would be easy. You pictured siblings growing up together, but now each month brings another negative test. 

Maybe you’ve had a miscarriage. Maybe doctors can’t explain what’s wrong. Maybe friends and family don’t understand why you’re upset because you ‘already have a child.’

The truth is, experiencing infertility after a previous pregnancy can be just as painful as primary infertility. You might feel lost, overwhelmed, or guilty for wanting another child, frustrated with your body, or heartbroken. 

If this sounds familiar, we’re here to support you.

 

What is Secondary Infertility?

Secondary infertility is defined as when you have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term after having one or more children naturally. 

It can feel confusing and isolating, especially when people around you assume you should be able to conceive again without a problem.

 

 

Why am I so angry about infertility?

Anger is often covering up something deeper…like hurt, fear, or helplessness. You might feel angry at your body, at doctors, at people who seem to get pregnant without trying. That anger is valid. It’s part of grief.

 

Common Causes of Secondary Infertility

Fertility changes over time. Even if nothing was wrong the first time, new challenges can arise.

Some common causes of secondary infertility include: 

• Age-related changes (lower egg quality, declining sperm health)
• Hormonal imbalances such as Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), thyroid issues, or ovulation disorders.
• Scarring from previous pregnancies or deliveries affecting the fallopian tube.
• Male-factor infertility (low sperm count, poor motility, high DNA fragmentation)
• Pelvic Inflammatory disease
• Unexplained infertility, where no clear cause is found

Even though this isn’t your fault, it doesn’t make it easier!

 

Why This Feels So Hard

People assume that because you have one child, you shouldn’t be struggling.

If you are going through secondary infertility, it often feels that you are misunderstood. 

But the pain of secondary infertility is real.

• You may feel heartbroken and alone, especially if others don’t understand.
• You might feel guilty, as if wanting another baby makes you ungrateful.
• Your relationships may feel strained, whether with your partner, family, or friends who don’t know what to say.
• You might feel stuck between two worlds—a parent who’s grateful for their child but longing for another.
• Trying to get pregnant again can feel like an emotional rollercoaster.
• You might be working with a fertility clinic or fertility specialist, but answers aren’t coming easily.

 

Support for Every Stage of the Journey

Your experience with secondary infertility may look different from someone else’s. Whether you’re just starting to notice difficulties or have been trying for years, support is available.

• Trying to Conceive? We offer emotional support while you navigate the uncertainty.
• Facing Pregnancy Loss? We provide a space to grieve and heal.
• Exploring treatment options? Whether it’s in vitro fertilization (IVF), intrauterine insemination (IUI) or lifestyle changes, we help you explore your next steps with clarity.

 

 

How We Can Help

Here’s how an infertility counsellor can help:

Everyone’s journey is different, so we offer multiple types of support:

• Individual Counseling – One-on-one support to help you process emotions and create a treatment plan that fits your needs.
• Couples Counseling – Helping partners navigate fertility issues together.
• Mind-Body Workshops – using mindfulness and relaxation to ease the rollercoaster of emotions.

 

Is infertility a form of trauma?

Yes, for many people, infertility can feel traumatic. There’s loss, disappointment, medical procedures, and the feeling that something important is out of your control. And often, you’re going through it without a clear ending. That emotional weight can stay with you…but healing is possible. Talking through it with someone who understands can help lessen that weight.

 

Counseling Can Help You:

A mental health professional specializing in fertility can help you:

Process grief, frustration, and uncertainty of experiencing infertility
Cope with anxiety, disappointment, and relationship stress
Navigate fertility treatments and explore the right treatment options
Release guilt and validate your experience—because trouble getting pregnant again is real, and you deserve support. 

Let’s Talk.
Book a consultation today. You don’t have to go through this alone.

 

Secondary Infertility Counselling FAQ’s

 

1. What are the emotions of secondary infertility?

Secondary infertility often brings a complex mix of emotions. Parents may feel guilt for wanting “more” when they already have a child, grief for the family they imagined, isolation from peers who don’t understand, and shame for struggling with something they assumed would come naturally again. Many also experience envy, frustration, and a deep sense of loss.

 

2. How to make peace with secondary infertility?

Making peace doesn’t mean you have to be okay with it right away. It means finding ways to live with the pain, not against it. That might involve talking to a therapist, learning how to cope with triggers, or slowly letting go of the pressure to “move on.” It takes time and it’s okay if you’re not there yet. Everyone’s path to peace looks different.

 

3. How many couples struggle with secondary infertility?

It’s more common than people think. About 1 in 6 couples who try to have another child run into fertility issues. It’s rarely talked about because people assume that once you’ve had one child, the rest should be easy, but that’s not always the case.

 

4. How do I stop being sad about infertility?

It’s okay to feel sad, infertility grief is real. Sadness is a normal response to loss. Trying to ignore or bury it can make it worse over time. What helps is giving yourself permission to feel the sadness, then finding ways to take care of yourself: therapy, creative outlets, journaling, or just talking with someone who gets it.

 

5. What is the grief of secondary infertility?

This grief is often ambiguous and layered. It’s a quiet kind of grief. You’re grieving the baby you hoped for, the family picture you had in mind, or the chance to give your child a sibling. It’s painful because it’s invisible to most people. It’s a silent sorrow, made harder when others assume you “should be fine.”

 

6. Can stress cause secondary infertility?

Stress doesn’t directly cause infertility, but being under constant emotional pressure can throw off your body’s natural rhythms, like ovulation or hormones. That said, stress is usually a result of infertility—not the cause. Therapy can help you find better ways to manage that stress, so it doesn’t take over your life.

 

source https://getreconnected.ca/secondary-infertility-counselling-toronto/